


i still love him

by herpaderpisalreadytaken



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Possible Want For Suicide, SPOILERS FOR SEASON 12 ENDING, Sad, im so sorry, lana del rey - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 23:26:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herpaderpisalreadytaken/pseuds/herpaderpisalreadytaken
Summary: Castiel still loves him.





	i still love him

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry for this angst.

Castiel was sent down to Earth on a mission. Dean Winchester. That name was like a thorn in his side, but that thorn grew into a rose. It was beautiful, and painful. Castiel understood Dean, he... loved him. When Dean walked into a room, everyone's head turned to him. Green eyes, dirty blond hair, you could see how much pain he'd been through in his smile. Cas remembered, John, Mary, Jo, Ellen, Bobby, Sam... even himself. Pain followed Dean. Castiel still loved him.   
Dean was like a magnet, the sun, anything that was beautiful that Castiel knew other couldn't handle. They both knew, they were in love. Sam saw it, but never brought it up. He loved seeing them in those moments, where they were to close to each other to be "just friends". Sam knew the signs, he had felt the same way about Jessica, about Ruby. He knew that Dean still loved Castiel, even after he fell. When he was no longer a drifting spirit that couldn't feel attached. Sam knew that if Castiel was human, they would really fall in love. Dean was scared, and they all knew it. Dean pushed Castiel away. He didn't want Castiel to get hurt, if he did, he would never forgive himself.   
Those were the nights, when Castiel remembered those days of being human. and feeling love. Castiel was staring up at the stars, the only "family" he had, falling from the sky. Most died and Castiel knew that could never forgive himself. He hates to remember the days where, he was possessed. He was used, to hurt Sam... Dean. He always put Dean through torture. Gunshots always rang through his head, scaring him. Knowing very well that one of those could kill Dean. Despite the idea that he would pass Dean someday, Castiel still loved him.  
They were laid down on the ground, holding each others hands. Dean laid beside the body, Cas wasn't there. Dean saw his wings, his eyes still burned. This pained Castiel, he caused Dean pain. Dean was flat on his back, hand intertwined with Castiel's, looking at the stars. Cas looked down on him. Dean couldn't hear him. Dean couldn't see him. He was a wonderer. No human could see him, not even the love of his eternal life, would ever be able to see him. At least for a while. This hurt him, Dean's thoughts were everywhere, the most prominent was how he wanted to put a gun behind his ear and pull the trigger. 

Dean loved him, and Castiel still loved him


End file.
